All of our coaching clients are well aware of the highly effective exercise “Man in the Mirror”. Each day you take the time to engage yourself in the mirror and say “I love you. I’m proud of you. I believe in you. Please forgive me. I’m doing the very best I can with the knowledge and understanding I have.” When you take the time to really connect with the exercise some amazing things can occur.

Below is a wonderful poem from a woman who connected very personally with the exercise.

Please enjoy!

Casey

The woman who looks back at me from the mirror

Smirks at me as if to say

“You are nothing”

Her smile demeaning and cruel

Cuts right through me

I feel small and

my imperfections and flaws magnified

until it is all I can see

They define me and I become them.

Curled up in a ball

In the dark,

I revisit every single failure

Every let down

Believing I was deserving of it.

But Someone up there

So loves me

Sent you to me

To remind me

I  am human, flawed,

Yet beautiful

There is beauty in my soul

Despite there being hurt and darkness

And you remind me of all I have to give

How valuable I am to you

And those whose lives I have touched

I almost felt satiated and quenched

After a long draught

I realize that I am blessed

That you are in my life

Always there

Guiding, loving, accepting and never ever judging

Thank you from the bottom of my heart

For being there for me

When I am not..

Happiness is one of the most powerful of things – and it’s something I believe that everyone is seeking. What’s interesting about it is that it’s the only thing that humans desire for its own sake! People seek riches not for the sake of being rich, but to be happy. People seek fame, not to be famous, but because they believe fame will bring them happiness too! As a result, people do things as a means to an end, which ultimately is happiness. It’s a great outcome!

In the United States Declaration of Independence, it refers to the “pursuit of happiness” as being a fundamental, “unalienable” right! Interestingly, it’s also found in the Constitution of Japan – ultimately, this is something that everyone is seeking, and has been seeking for all of time. It’s certainly something that has been commented on throughout history, and has been considered directly or indirectly in every relationship.

Are you happy? Happiness is an emotional state, and we know it when we feel it – it has that warm sense of enjoyment, satisfaction and a hint of fun. It’s often linked with good circumstances like a supportive family, a great marriage, and strong finances. At the same time, when circumstances shift and families experience tragedy, marriages crumble and the economy tanks, there is a tendency of happiness to diminish – in most people.

So what’s the difference between those who are happy when things are going well, and those who are happy no matter what’s going on?

Some scientists think that genetics have something to do with it, and others see it as a stimulus-response to circumstances: good conditions = happy, bad conditions = unhappy. However, one of the biggest indicators of happiness centers on our sense of control. If you feel you have some degree of influence, some bit of control over things, you are likely to feel happier.

So how can we make this work for us day to day? There are some simple things that can shift us toward happiness quickly, and easily. Here are a few ideas.

1. Change your state. Each of us have a physical state (our body), an emotional state (are we happy?) and a mental state (what are you thinking about?) and if you change one, you change them all. Which one is easiest to change? Your body. Stand up. Move. Look up, stretch your arms out and put a big grin on your face – you can feel instantly happy.

2. Change your attention. Write down three things you are grateful for, right now. Go ahead. Describe them. What happened and why were you grateful? Now go back to that moment in time. How did you feel? You should get the feeling back and you can feel happy right now. This is a great exercise to do every night, before you go to bed.

3. Express gratitude. Instead of just writing it down and keeping it to yourself, go tell someone. Tell someone why you are grateful for them. If someone does something nice for you, even if it’s very minor, tell them you’re grateful. Say out loud the things that make you grateful; and happiness will be the result.

Now, happiness is different than pleasure. Pleasure is very temporary and it’s simply the fulfillment of a physical need. Some people think that eating makes them happy. It doesn’t – that’s pleasure. So how do we make sure we’re on track to create happiness? There are two useful ways.

First, start all tasks with the specific intent of being happy. It is not what we do in life that makes a difference, its how we do it. We can be cleaning toilets and choose to be happy to serve. Or we can be leading nations and choose to be miserable – either way, it’s not what we’re doing, it’s how we’re doing it. Intend to be happy.

Secondly, our goals are great vehicles to move us toward happiness. When you have goals that are worthy to you, that will create a life of success by your definition. When you act on those goals, you have the opportunity to choose happiness. When you are acting on your goals, you have control over yourself. You are directing your efforts and your energy – and that’s the key to creating happiness.

Happiness is not hiding. It’s not avoiding you, it’s waiting for you. Simply call it into action and it will show up (happily)! You have control over you – always. You can’t always control your circumstances, and while it’s desirable to be in a supportive environment that’s positive and growing, remember that you can always control your response to your circumstances. You can choose your state. Choose to be happy, and bring the world along with you.

A few years ago one of my friends accidentally discovered that his dad was in fact not his dad at all.

Ouch.

At twenty seven years of age, he discovered that something he absolutely knew (not thought, hoped, or wished) to be fact, was in reality, not true at all. Let’s just say that his reaction wasn’t a totally positive one. It never occurred to him that his ‘truth’, may in fact, be a big lie.

A well-meaning lie (his mum had tried to protect him), a noble lie (is there such a thing?) but a major deception nonetheless.

What if you were to wake up tomorrow and discover that something you’ve believed (thought to be absolute fact) for years, simply wasn’t true? Completely and utterly false. You weren’t even close. How would you feel?

Mad? Betrayed? Confused? Stupid? Maybe a little of each?

Could it be that some of us hold on to certain beliefs in order to avoid the above feelings? After all, imagine having to unlearn something we’ve believed for decades? That would be quite the mental and emotional challenge, wouldn’t it?

I’ve spoken about beliefs many times but today I want to give you a little something to chew on, think about and discuss; if you feel so inspired.

Some questions for you:

Is it possible that you’ve ‘learned’ certain things over the years that are, in fact, false? Is it maybe even likely?

Is it possible that some of your (self-limiting) beliefs are the very things which stop you from fulfilling (or at least, exploring) your potential, making certain decisions, taking chances and possibly finding happiness?

Did you consciously choose and develop your own beliefs, or did you simply adopt “hand-me-downs” from somebody else? (Many people do this). But why wouldn’t I believe dad? He knows and I trust him, so his beliefs become mine – consciously or not, intentionally or not. Besides, I wouldn’t want to offend him would I?

Is it possible that you’ve believed certain things (seen the world in a particular way) for so long that the very thought of questioning some of your long-held beliefs makes you feel (1) uncomfortable, (2) anxious, (3) disloyal, (4) unfaithful, or perhaps even (5) overwhelmed?

Have you ever been coerced, pressured or expected to believe certain things, and because of those imposed beliefs you have been compelled to adhere to certain standards, rules and behaviours? Even though deep down you resented it?

Have you ever felt like questioning certain beliefs (to others) but held your tongue in order to keep the peace and avoid potential confrontation? (Why bother – it will only create problems?)

For the most part, do your beliefs empower you or limit you?

Breaking Free!

Sometimes beliefs are like handcuffs or leg irons. They restrict movement, potential, exploration and of course, freedom. Freedom to learn, grow and change. They keep us in the custody of something or someone. You know what I mean.

One of the most liberating and empowering things we can do as authors of our own lives is to question our beliefs. Not for the sake of being different, difficult or rebellious, but for the sake of learning who we are, what we are and what we really believe beyond the social conditioning, the weight of expectation, the years of mental and emotional programming and beyond the pressure of group thinking.

After all, our beliefs determine our choices and behaviors (for the most part) and our choices and behaviors determine the kind of results we produce in our world. So why wouldn’t we? Is it time for you to do a little unlearning?

Think about what you might want to unlearned and discover your own new truths!

Blessings,

Casey Combden

The fun continues on another amazing day in Vancouver at the 2010 Winter Olympic Games! We all piled in to the buses and made our way to one of the most delicious restaurants in Vancouver! The DB Bistro Moderne is a fine dining establishment owned by the world famous Daniel Boulud. We soon found out why Daniel was world famous.

Mr. Boulud has restaurants all over, including New York, with an inviting yet upscale atmosphere and extensive wine selection. Most impressive however, is the food itself!! I ordered the top sirloin burger filled with braised short ribs served on a toasted parmesan bun. Who knew you could get a short rib right in the center of a hamburger!? It was amazing!

After lunch we headed out to the hockey arena to watch women’s Canadian Olympic team play against the Swiss. What an outstanding game! Our women’s hockey team really killed it! In no time there were already 5 goals scored finishing the game off at 10-1 for Canada.

The atmosphere in the arena was electric. So many people came out to watch the game. Just like everywhere else in Vancouver, the crowd in the UBC Thunderbird arena was littered with red and white jerseys, flags and posters. There was even one guy who was dressed head to toe in, what looked like, a Canadian flag speed skating uniform. He must have been cold but bless him for his enthusiasm.

It was Jeannie’s first time at a hockey game and she loved it! I’m pretty sure her smile never left her face. In truth, I’m sure there wasn’t a frowning Canadian anywhere near UBC Thunderbird arena. Our Olympic women played their hearts out and ended up with the win. It’s hard not to feel a sense of Canadian pride in the presence of such determination.

Our experience at the Olympics was simply incredible. The weather was great and all of the excitement was infectious. Wished you all were there with us.

Love,

Casey

Being in Vancouver during the 2010 Winter Olympics can really bring out the kid in you. Roaming through the streets of Vancouver we joyously took in all the sights and sounds. People were jumping around, even my darling wife, and there were street performers all over the place entertaining people with their amazing talents.

We hadn’t been there long but the heartbeat of the Olympic games quickly infected us with the patriotic joy that comes along with such events. The streets were filled with people dressed in red and white or sporting the official Olympic gear and everyone was simply enjoying the excitement.

Of course, leave it up to my beautiful Jeannie to create a little extra fun! As I mentioned, the streets were full but the middle of Robson Square was by far the busiest area of all. In the middle of the square CTV News had set up a booth where the anchors could report throughout the day and people could also watch the events in Whistler on big screens. During times when the news anchors weren’t reporting, CTV was providing opportunity for people to be guest anchors! Somehow, through a group of thousands, Jeannie got herself to the front of the crowd and signed up for her Olympic TV debut!! Who does that? Only Jeannie and she rocked it! She’s such a natural for stuff like that and I was so proud of her.

Once Jeannie’s news anchor debut was over we jumped in to the thick of it with thousands of cheering fans to watch the finals for men’s freestyle moguls on the big screen. The excitement and anticipation could be felt when Canada’s own Alexandre Bilodeau placed first after his run. It felt a little bit like Christmas morning. With each other skier the anticipation grew. I think we were all collectively holding our breath when the final skier took to the hill. When the finals scores were posted a massive shockwave of pride and joy burst through the crowd as Alexandre Bilodeau took Canada’s first Olympic gold at the Vancouver Winter games. We were there and it was incredible!

I was checking my emails recently when I came across this amazing lesson in simplicity by John C. Maxwell. So often we make our situations more complicated than they need to be, we “can’t see the forest for the trees”. Simplicity is not easy and contrary to common belief, it is not a mark of weakness or lower intelligence.

Simplifying will help you attain your goals. Enjoy!

All the Best,

Casey

Connectors Keep It Simple – By John C. Maxwell

William Henry Harrison gave the longest inaugural address of any U.S. President, taking two hours to plod through a whopping 8,445-word speech. Even though the speech was delivered outdoors on a frigid and rainy day, the President stubbornly refused to wear an overcoat or hat. As a result, he
caught a cold that developed into pneumonia, and he died a month later. The leadership lesson: it pays to simplify.

Two Myths about Simplicity

Myth #1 Simplicity Lacks Depth

A few years ago, I was being interviewed on a television talk show.

“John,” the host said, “I’ve read several of your books, and they are all so simple.”
His mocking tone made it clear to the audience and to me that the comment was not intended as a compliment.

My response was direct: “That’s true. The principles in my books are simple to understand, but they are not always simple to apply.” The audience applauded, and the talk show host conceded that what I said was true.

We often associate simplicity with a lack of depth or shortage of intelligence. Conversely, we ascribe intelligence to people who communicate using big words or hard-to-grasp concepts. Somehow, we assume that anyone speaking in a dense, academic style must be smart.

The issues we face in life can be complex, with all sorts of intricacies. However, as leaders and communicators, our job is to bring clarity to a subject, reducing rather than adding to its complexity. The measure of a great teacher isn’t what he knows; it’s what his students know. Simplicity is a skill, and it’s a necessary one if you want to connect with people when you communicate.

Myth #2 Simplicity Is Easy

When we encounter something simple, we assume it has been hastily thrown together or not fully thought out. To us, simplicity means taking shortcuts and denying the complex reality of life. However, in a society flooded with information, simplicity has never been more difficult to achieve. Nor has it
ever been as important.

Perhaps nobody understands simplicity better than Apple, Inc. The company put its computers back on the map by touting their user-friendly interfaces. Then, Apple leapfrogged the competition by pioneering devices that simplified the way we access, store, and share information.

Despite his success in bringing about simplicity, Apple CEO Steve Jobs attests to the difficulty of doing so.

If you read the Apple’s first brochure, the headline was “Simplicity is the Ultimate Sophistication.” What we meant by that was that when you first attack a problem it seems really simple because you don’t understand it. Then when you start to really understand it, you come up with these very complicated solutions because it’s really hairy. Most people stop there. But a few people keep burning the midnight oil and finally understand the underlying principles of the problem and come up with an elegantly simple
solution for it. But very few people go the distance to get there.

Summary

It may seem counter intuitive, but if you want to take your communication to the next level, don’t try to dazzle people with your intellect or overpower them with information. Give them clarity and simplicity. People will relate to you, and they’ll want to invite you back to communicate with them again.

Also, don’t expect simplicity to come easily. At first, your attempts to find clarity may seem to backfire. Nevertheless, press on and maintain focus. Eventually, you’ll reduce your problems to a manageable size, and you’ll uncover simple principles that will aid your ability to connect with those you serve.

Casey and Jeannie Combden are loving the commotion of the Vancouver Winter Olympics 2010 and the warm weather. Today’s agenda includes Tim Horton’s and Free Hugs!

Casey and Jeannie Combden are in Vancouver at the 2010 Olympics rubbing shoulders with Jarome Iginla of the Calgary Flames and heading to watch Canada’s woman’s hockey team compete.